FULL TIME MOTHER FULL TIME STUDENT

Human Interest Assignment

(Nurul Syuhada, on the left with her family)

         
(Nurul Syuhada, 24, Currently doing Bachelors in Law at Brickfields Asia College)

Kuala Lumpur: In this era of globalisation, everyone has their own goals and dreams to pursue, especially university students who are still developing. University students are always balancing their time between studies and their own personal life, which they ended up taking up too much time on either one; this leads to a stressful situation for them. In certain situation, female university students who are pursuing their studies will have hurdles along the way such as getting married and starting their own family. The struggles of being a mother, a wife and a student all at the same time are undermine by the public, which should be highlighted more.

Every full time mother and student has their own definition of being what they are but Nurul Syuhada Shah, who is currently doing her Bachelors in Law and at the same time, a mother of one, has her own personal definition. She stated, “Being a full time mother and student means everything to me as I can spend time with my family while chasing my dream.” She has spoken out about how she did not want to pursue her degree at first but in the end, she decided that she wanted to be a good example for her son. She continued, “He can always be what he wants, regardless who he is, as long as he put in the effort.” It is shown that every mother always wants the best for the child and by pursuing her degree, she wants her child to succeed too.

For most female students, when marriage is involved, pursuing their studies would not be an option for them as there will be many hassles along the way. When asked about how does Nurul Syuhada balance her time between studies and her responsibility as a mom, she replied, “I will try my best to pay attention during class so I will have more time at home but I have to thank my husband because he always helps me when it comes to house works. Without him, my life will be a chaos.”

When it comes to marriage, both parties have to compromise when it comes to their family and future because that’s how a relationship works. For her, her husband, the head of the family, is the one who is in charge of lessening her burden especially with house work and studies. It is known that some female students may have a problem when it comes to balancing their responsibility as a mom and a student, especially when their husband is not there for them, physically.  As this is because some female students might give birth to their child without the father of the child, being present in both the mother and child’s life. That is when the mother has to take in three roles including being a student at the same time but this would end up setting a good example to the child.

Family plays a crucial role in supporting an individual’s life, especially when it comes to pursuing one’s dream. When it comes to full time mother and student, family would be their pillar of strength. We live in an Asian society, along with the Asian mentality that has been inserted in us ever since we were kids. As a Malay woman being brought up in a full Malay household, the pursue of chasing after one’s dream and success must be blessed with support by the family. She stated, “My family always support me and feel happy for me, no matter what.”

University and college students can be seen either stressing up over their personal life or assignments that are due but a student who is also a mother has more things to be stressed over. Many would either give up on one because it either consume too much time or they are not up for it. The fact that these students hasn’t even start their own family yet and they can already feel the pressure says a lot. Most female university students who are also mom, has no choice but they have to make lots of sacrifices for their future and their family’s future. The issue of this itself is not even highlighted in the media as most people would prefer not to listen to it unless they can relate to it.

When asked about the sacrifices that she has to make, she replied, “The only sacrifice is that I don’t really have time for myself.” This is indeed a big issue because not all students would sacrifice everything and they prefer to care about themselves compare to the latter. As stated by a full time mother and student, she doesn’t have time for herself as she gave it all up for her studies alongside her family bonding time.

It is known that most of her course mates were shocked to know that she’s a mother with a child, attending the course. Most of them were not in the married phase yet as they mostly focus on pursuing their studies and they do not want the latter to come in their way. Her lecturers too were surprised as it was not common for students who has their own tiny family to still be studying because of time consumption and huge responsibility that needs to be carried. Besides, in Malaysia, it’s also rare to find students who are married to still be focusing on their studies or either that, most of them will only get married when they have started working.

For female students with a family, the most essential thing for them would be the time divided between their studies and spending time with their loved ones. They need to properly use the time that they have and to them, time is precious. Nurul Syuhada said, “I don’t really have a timetable but usually I will study for an hour around 2-3am per day so the rest of the time, I could spend it with my son because he needs more attention as he is growing up now.” It is known that she has to sacrifice her sleep so she could pursue her dream while the other half of the time, she would rather see her child’s growth as that is what matters most to her.

As stated before, there would be challenges along the way for a full time student and mother as unexpected circumstances can occur at any time. The most challenging time for most of them would be during exam month where hard work and dedication are proven in the results of the exams. When asked how did she overcome these challenges, she answered, “I will try my best to stay positive,” Even with not much strength and a whole burden on her shoulders, negative thoughts did not cross her mind. She continued, “My husband will always give me moral support and he would give me space to study. That makes me feel better.”

When there are challenges in life, there would also be achievements in life as full time mother and students are ordinary humans too. Different people may encounter different type of achievements in their life and that’s the same for this 24 years old degree student who is also a mother. She said, “My greatest achievement so far would be that I get to see my son growing up every single while I’m still pursuing my study. I can still send him to kindergarten and help him with his homework.” This is how most young mothers feel, deeply when they get to see their child growing up and be there for them, despite the hectic schedule while chasing one’s dream.

Students usually have to care for themselves and every action that they take would be their responsibility but a full time mother-student has another matter in their hands. When it comes to their children, they won’t be home for them at least for 8 hours due to university schedule so most of the time, the family would come in the picture. She explained on how her mother in law would come over and look after her son as she will try to rush home as soon as her classes are over. It is indeed a stressful situation and it could be hectic if the time for her to go back is during peak hour so she needs to find the right time to head home. She doesn’t want to be far and away from her child for too long as she believed that it’s part of her responsibility to give attention.

Knowing that she’s not the only full time mother and student as there are more out there like her, she advised, “Chase your own dream because no one else can do it besides you.” As much as a student’s responsibility is already a burden but people tend to forget that there are other students who has to carry a heavier burden, compared to others. The public should be more acknowledged on this topic as the presence of more full time mother and student could increase, anytime in the future. When the public is more acknowledged on this, there would be better accommodations or value placing for these students who has their own family yet they need to sacrifice something just to pursue their dream.

Nurul Syuhada ended her interview by saying, “After I’m done with my degree, I would try to balance my time better for work and my family. I will always put my husband and son as the top priority in my life because they are irreplaceable.”